This totally feels like it’s going to be perceived as a whining session, but I am seriously not. And it certainly isn’t about getting sympathy. My hope is to make others aware of the scope of what my body does to keep my living life as I once could. I have not absolutes on why it happens, I can only explain what I endure. Because there is mental and physical aspects to it, I want to present it in small chunks. Therefore, for this post, I am going to focus on the physical pain portion of it.
Two years after a fall, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and myofasical pain syndrome. There are a lot of details and experiences wrapped in those two diagnosis, but for sake of time, and perhaps your sanity, I’m going to refrain from telling those stories now. I may share them in a post at a later date.
Here is the Mayo Clinics definition of fibromyalgia:
“Fibromyalgia is a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues. Researchers believe that fibromyalgia amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way your brain processes pain signals.”
Now here is my best explanation of what that pain feels like:
Tense your entire body as if you feel like something you fear is about to happen to you. Tense everything from your leg muscles, your facial muscles, the bottoms of your feet. Everything. Now imagine never allowing those muscles to relax, yet you must carry out your day.
Now imagine your muscles are being twisted, over and over, until there are twists atop twists.
Okay, muscles tight and twisted? Now focus on your bones. They are being repeatedly assaulted by a sledgehammer. Blow by blow they feel as is they are being splintered. The pain is severe and deep; it hurts to the very core of them.
Next, the underside of your skin is on fire. Your feet burn, and it goes deeper with each step you take. In some places, your outer skin is afire, as if someone has suddenly touched you with a hot iron.
You know that feeling when you hit your elbow? That radiating stinging and tingling that courses down your arm? Imagine it occurring throughout your entire body. No specific place or pattern, just randomly showing up and lasting for minutes or hours.
Fibromyalgia is also marked with what is called tender points. I’ll throw this last little explanation in with the help of Healthline: “Tender points” on the body are one hallmark of fibromyalgia. When you press on these spots, they feel sore. Tender points can be located on the back of the head, elbows, shoulders, knees, and hips. There are 18 possible tender points in all. I have all eighteen. Always the overachiever. 😉
Now keep all those things going at once; this is the height of a bad flare up. But, it can show up in when you think you’ve got things under control and are sitting in a movie theater or on that vacation you’ve been looking forward to for months. No warning, no reason. It just arrives uninvited. You know you certainly didn’t pack it in your suitcase. Who would?!
Sadly, it doesn’t stop there. Perhaps none of those symptoms are not visiting you on a particular day. Maybe, it is just a bit of muscle tightening. But suddenly, you can’t walk without being drained and exhausted. Your body feels like lead and you are walking through muck up to your chin and into a head wind. Yesterday you might have bounded up the steps, but now you are winded by going up 4 or 5 and need to stop and catch your breath.
All of this can happen individually or simultaneously throughout a day. One day you can run a mile or hike 3, the next day you can barely get yourself to the bathroom. It can be exacerbated by lack of sleep or sleeplessness, overexertion, not moving enough, cold weather, change in barometric pressure, diet, illness, stress, depression, anxiety, and hormonal changes. That, in a nutshell, is the physical infliction of fibromyalgia.
Myofascial Pain:
Mayo Clinic explanation: “Myofascial pain syndrome is a chronic pain disorder. In this condition, pressure on sensitive points in your muscles (trigger points) causes pain in the muscle and sometimes in seemingly unrelated parts of your body. … This syndrome typically occurs after a muscle has been contracted repetitively.”
So, remember that muscle reaction to fear I had you mimic earlier? Imagine all that contraction going on. Each of those are now being plagued with the possibility of myofascial pain, if I cannot remain in control and keep them from tensing. Unfortunately, many movements used in daily activities cause them to contract and remain so. Thus, calling in in myofascial to over react.
The fascia is like that thin membrane you see when you eat chicken. It lies between the flesh and the skin. Here’s the medical description: A fascia (/ˈfæʃ(i)ə/; plural fasciae /ˈfæʃii/; adjective fascial; from Latin: “band”) is a band or sheet of connective tissue, primarily collagen, beneath the skin that attaches, stabilizes, encloses, and separates muscles and other internal organs.
Here’s is my explanation of what happens physically with myofascial pain: I call it my push me- pull me pain. Basically a group of muscles react as if they are overused. This tends to be the group of muscles I originally injured. In order to protect themselves, they attach to the fascia. Now because that fascia is wrapped around and through so many muscles, it literally tugs on them with each movement. Now, my body subconsciously, or I consciously, start to use another set of muscles instead. Those then become fatigued and grab onto a big of fascia. Between me trying to use various muscles and those muscles now attached to fascia that is pulling across other muscles, it is an all out war: my push me- pull me in action.
So, therein lies my wish list of things to lessen or eradicate. It is almost 19 years in the making, so I know it will take time to pick it all apart. I have done much in the way of that in the last 16, but I’m determined to do better.
Thanks for following along on this journey. I’m hoping and striving for epic changes and improvement.
If you deal with any chronic or life altering setbacks, please share. It’s always good to know we aren’t alone in them. Finding mutual understanding without humiliation is key.
Willpower to Well Power 